The Proxy Self

 In the 1980s the Nafsiyat Intercultural Therapy Centre was established because it was noticed that some people from ethnic minority background did not really benefit from the work done with a white therapist as they were withdrawn or could not fully participate and displayed a kind a false self as a defence to make themselves more acceptable to the white therapist. Lennox wrote about this extensively, he noticed this pattern, which was employed in other parts of the clients’ lives as well to seem more “white” and hide their real self.

Being aware of this pattern can enable the therapists to provide a more authentic therapeutic experience for the clients. 

 

Interculturally trained therapists can provide a good enough therapeutic relationship and these sensitive issues can openly be addressed. However, there is also a need for more therapists from ethnic minority backgrounds because these therapists are underrepresented right now in the UK and in the USA as well. Clients might find it challenging if they want a therapist from the same ethnic or other minority group. There might be problems accessing therapy service or waiting lists, too.

Children of ethnic minorities don’t have a firm concept of racism so when they are rejected or not accepted by white people they might feel that they are bad. This splitting is really damaging for clients and if it is not addressed the therapy is just game playing. It is therefore very important for the therapist to recognize the splitting and provide a safe enough place and relationship to explore these feelings. This is usually a gradual process and the same situation can apply to issues around gender, gender identity, culture, social class, age, ethnicity etc. not just race. Creating a proxy self may have been happening for generations without being aware of it.

Interestingly enough, another type of splitting can occur. Ethnic minority people can put white people into two categories based on their experiences and encounters with them. Some can be perceived as safe, others can be seen as not to be trusted and people adjust their behaviour accordingly when interacting with them.

Representation of ethnic and other minorities in the media for example can be an affirming experience.