The person to person relationship is based on mutual human equality as opposed to object relations. This stage of relationship can be reached/ it can occur when the transference is dissolved. The encounter happens when 2 genuine humans meet each other with mutual awareness. They are both present. Both the client and the counsellor are willing to see and be seen by the other as a congruent person with thoughts, emotions, feelings, likes and dislikes, prejudices and blind spots, too. This can be linked to Buber’s existential philosophy and Rogers’ personality theory, too.
Working relationally means that the counsellor is attuned to the client’s relational needs in the here and now. This can be healing for the client who may have not had this type of experience before. Humanistic and existential approaches believe providing this type of relationship can lead to growth and change. Creating realistic expectations is crucial as clients might have unrealistic expectations from the counsellor such as friendship, advisor etc. The counsellor’s self awareness is very important at this point to be able to focus on the client’s needs and not to fulfil his/her own unmet needs while working with clients. Own therapy and supervision are great opportunities to be self-aware.
According to Clarkson the person to person relationship can be just a few moments in therapy but it can also be a substantial phase. It is also hard to define and reach a sense of equality in the relationship. It can be compromised by the client's perception of the therapist as a person in power or having influence. However, if it is reached there’s a sense of genuineness, absolute honesty, mutuality and openness.
Clients sometimes can recall a special moment rather than an intervention. One of Petruska’s clients remembered a session when P. lent her a book and she felt valued by that act.
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